Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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