I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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