ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
