I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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