Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
