worst night to have a conscience
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
