I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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