She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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