get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
