why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
