I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
