So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
