Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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