I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
