i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize