i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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