IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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