she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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