no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
