The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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