chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
