Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
