and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize