Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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