I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
