I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
