absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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