you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
