just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We are all done wearing pants today
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
