im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
