My brain says no but my pants say off.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
