just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
