We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize