i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
