That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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