yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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