I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
