so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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