I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
