she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
did you just send me my own nude
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
