She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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