I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
