At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
