If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
