wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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