she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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