What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
