My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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