You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
