Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
