you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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