Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
