I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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