Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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