Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm at about main and main street
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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