i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
