So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
