The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
