just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I need moral support for this bender
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
as a side note pls kill me
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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