Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
