Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
