1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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