Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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