Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
