HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
