Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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