Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
