I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Randomize
