I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
