Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
