chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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