Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
