you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
